Eco-conscious Consumer Gifts

'These fruits and vegetables are very colorful, large, free of blemishes, pulpy and tasteless.'

Water/Still water/Not water any more.

'Bag for life?'

'Everybody else is going green, so we will to - Bring us a bottle of vinho verde.'

"No wonder this shampoo doesn't work! It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!"

"Forget it. Too many preservatives."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Dolphin buying dolphin-safe tuna.

'Sure, we're in demand. We're fresh, we have no artificial flavoring, no artificial coloring...'

Grown for Flavour

'Eat local, or the other side of the world?'

Battery Bees

"Would you believe it? British honey made exclusively by Chinese bees!"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Bee flying to another flower.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

"The homes in this area are beautiful."

The New Normal

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

REPENT! Get back to nature

Price may vary with weather.

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."