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'He's not happy with the portions in the doggie bag.'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

'Don't even think about it. Your food bill is high enough.'

'Here we go again. He always senses when we have a vet appointment.'

'Why, sure I remember you. Marmaduke and uhh. . .uhhh. . .'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'You can wait.'

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

'He does lack social skills.'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'Burying things is his version of spring cleaning.'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

Good, but not Great Danes.

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

'I'm redecorating my den and need a 16 point buck for the wall - see to it, Pendleton!'

'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''

Man with giant dog has a giant poop bag.

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'I like their lollipops. If we ever get any money, we ought to open an account here.'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

Goldie, you hold the nail.

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'The news has started a MarmWatch segment as a public service.'

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

'The increasing popularity of the Saint Bernard...'

"Someday, when he ignores you, you'll really like him!"

'Do you think I over-praised Marmaduke for fetching the paper?'

'Remember, Doctor, when he was a puppy and you said he'd outgrow it?'

'Marmaduke will perform that trick no matter how small the audience.'

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'

'Tell him there's no such thing as the abominable snowman.'