Graveside Giggler Pillows

'Why is he always hanging around?'

'He was a devout agnostic.'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Get on with it!

Beginning Yarder.

'It was this big. I swear'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Fancy a pint?

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Balding gnomes

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."