Gratuity Guru Gifts

'I never get tipped!'

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

Gentleman wanting to know exactly how much he owes his butler

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

'How much do I tip myself?'

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

"Can I just leave a small tip?"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Cat Reunion

Thank you bubbles

Santa called but you were out!

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

Regifts of the Magi

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Valentines Day truck

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

'Can't you stop being charitable, we are on vacation.'

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

"The first step toward enlightenment is dissillusionment."

'Oooh, I love what you've done with your hair...That top looks lovely on you and have you lost weight?'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

'I'm good. How are you?'