Grass Skippers Gifts

You Know It's Hot When. . . Walking on the Grass Burns your Feet. . .

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

THe UDDER Side

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

Naughty grass, go to sleep! It's pasture bed time!

"This lawnmower is a real time saver. After pushing it around for an hour, I forget about all the ambitious landscaping plans I thought up over winter."

A psychic mows the lawn.

Grass: We lost some good men today!

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

"Relax and enjoy the game! Relax and enjoy the game!..."

I've got a note from my mum...I can't be eaten today!

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Be the grass...

Stealth grazing.

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

"I never thought I'd hear myself saying this but I'm really not that hungry."

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"Grass...grass...and grass!"

Is there life after digestion?

One blade of grass shouting to the others. 'Thems that get shat upon 'ill be tha lucky ones!'

Vine-Gripened Tomatoes

I'm a Grasstafarian!

"They've just got a better grade of weed over there!"

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

Reading the signs of change...'Looks like this is the last day of vacation, so tomorrow it's back to school, kids...'

Sailing

"Oh boy, one sure way to stop my parents from laughing is to show them my school report..."

Let's not make this personal!