Graphing Gifts

"There's a lot of volatility in the market right now. It's a really exciting time to be in graphs."

'I think we could understand this better if it were a pie chart.'

Why graphs are confusing

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

COVID Cases

Art Guidelines

"I'm bored."

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

If nobody had invented graphics

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

ACME Balloon Company.

Let's Celebrate

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."