Graph Goblin Gifts

The Phenomenon of Absolute Power, Expressed as a Geometric Curve.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Horror Stories.

Let's Celebrate

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"Thank you, Harris - I get the picture."

Sales.

"The disasters are collaborating better than we are!"

But under a different accounting convention ...

'And right here they merged...'

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'