Grapes Gifts

Aptitude tests point to a job in the wine industry for a young man with huge feet.

'He's going through a phase of wanting to be a grape again.'

"I'd offer you grapes but I have no idea where I put them."

The Grapes of Wrath Iowa

'Well obviously I'd be thrilled with a merlot or some jelly, but there's always raisin bran as a safety net.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Being Called A Sour Grape Phobia.

'Don't tell me, I know this one. Is it wine?'

Football fan

Reaper and Covid Grapes

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

A giant glass of red wine