Grape Cultivation Gifts

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"

Wine Lady

Wine Making

"Well now I'm totally confused apparently in some cultures, grapes are a fruit!"

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

A giant glass of red wine

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'Who's the new guy?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Red Wine

Wine tasting

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."