Grape Cultivation Gifts

"Haven't you ever seen California wine being made before?"

Wine Lady

Wine Making

"Well now I'm totally confused apparently in some cultures, grapes are a fruit!"

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Who's the new guy?'

A giant glass of red wine

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

Red Wine

Wine tasting

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'