Grape-loving Globetrotter Gifts

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Wine Lady

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A giant glass of red wine

'Who's the new guy?'

Wine tasting

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I think we can skip the resume.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 4)

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"Grapes are my favorite fruit too."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"