Grape Harvesting Hero Gifts

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Who's the new guy?'

A giant glass of red wine

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Red Wine

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wine tasting

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'