Grants Aficionado Gifts

Research grant for nerve toxin.

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

The court freezes my assets and wants me to live on $20K per month? They want me to starve!

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

Peace and Justice Return to the Joint High Commission

'All right. Who's in charge around here?'

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

Gargantua's Paris Meals. Four Men are Feeding Him with Mustard (Rabelais).

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

"And the Oscar for best wardrobe in a film based on a 17th century picaresque novel goes to..."

'One or the other, maybe, but I can't make them BOTH lose!'

'Gerald's genes have been crossed with a chameleon, haven't they, Gerald? Gerald?'

'You've had enough.'

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

"I like things to be done my way but by somebody else."

The Giant Guardsman Chapters XI and XII

Ulysses S Grant as William Tell, Defiant against the Greely-Gratz Brown Presidential Bid

"I think the Greeks are running out of ideas."

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."