Grant Enthusiast Gifts

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Ulysses S Grant as William Tell, Defiant against the Greely-Gratz Brown Presidential Bid

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

CEO.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Well, we got the grant."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

The nonprofit dog fight.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

"What are we doing wrong?"

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"Lost My Grant - Please Help!"

"Read the card! Read the card!"

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

"When we said to be creative with your grant proposal presentation, this is not what was meant."

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'