Grant-getting Enthusiast Gifts

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Geoffrey Rush

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Lincoln v. Douglas - 2020

More people working in Voluntary sector than 2010.

"I got my first paycheck, and now I understand why our organization is classified as a nonprofit."

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

"What are we doing wrong?"

'I'm freezing...The rich list is a little thin this year.'

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

'Your very generous charitable contribution shows up as this very slight blip right here.'

Christmas Dwarves

'Agreed, 'Laplace Algebra Matrix Expansion' is a good topic, but we'd better find a better acronym if we want to secure a Research Grant...'

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

"I gave on the E train."

Professional Fund Riasers

'Profit or non-profit?'

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

Campaign Trail

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"And a small donation will ensure the survival of undreds of snowballs throughout the summer months..."

Charity mugger

"Building fund not going well, Reverend?"

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"God it was rough coming into the office this morning after the awards ceremony" "It must have been, you work two doors down"

Benefactor of children

"Bono is nice, and Bono cares, but I really dig Barry Manilow."

"Flockfunding"? Whatever happened to building your own @#^* nest?