Grant Getter Gifts

"This is Doctor Bagshaw, discoverer of the infinitely expanding research grant."

Reach for the Star.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Bullseye!

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Upward Progress

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

Tenacity trumps everything!

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

Wilfried Zaha

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

January Joiner

"It's a long term goal."

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"You can do it!"

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Successful sales people are avid goal setters...