Grant Getter Pillows

"This is Doctor Bagshaw, discoverer of the infinitely expanding research grant."

Dummy. Now we have to apply for another grant.

Reach for the Star.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Bullseye!

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Upward Progress

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

Tenacity trumps everything!

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

Five Ideas For Success: Always finish what you. . .

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Ok, team it's a tie. We're going into overtime. First score wins the game! Let's see your fiercest game faces! That's it! My sudden death panel!

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Wilfried Zaha

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

"Do you call this a business plan?"

Gareth Bale

"It's a long term goal."

January Joiner

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"You can do it!"

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'How are we going to achieve our goal this year?'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

One day, he hoped to hit the big time.

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."