Grant Gatherers Pillows

'Did he actually win a 'Genius Grant' for his study 'Can money buy happiness'?'

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Midwest Winter Items.

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

Grocery Shopping

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

"Instead of wishes, I got you a gift card."

"Our funding runs out in a month. Will everyone please think a little faster?"

"Great. First our funding ran out, now the rat."

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"Do you have this grant in a bigger size?"

"Stop pestering me. Dating you is the last thing I'd do."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

Baron Frankenstein on Christmas morning.

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

look dear... I bought two farmers

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

Ghak was a hunter, Zhoomba was a gatherer and Fnok was a sponger.

Ulysses S Grant as William Tell, Defiant against the Greely-Gratz Brown Presidential Bid

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it!'