Grandparents-in-law Gifts

'When your grandparents said they were going to drop in on us, I didn't think they meant literally.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

The Zoo.

International Women's Day

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."