Grandma's Little Troublemaker Pillows

I don't think Grandma likes my snake.

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"One day mommy's slime molds will all be yours!"

'They keep telling us these are the best years of our lives...but THEY seem to be having a pretty good time!'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

Gangster Babies

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

Later that day, little Johnny got in big trouble for playing with them.

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

Young MacDonald

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

"Since Ronnie retired, I like to keep him busy with plenty of activities."

Playpen Jailbreak.

Grandma wearing novelty T-Shirt: 'How's my Hungging?'

"There she is! The Holy Bubbha!"

'If you think you're going to sit around here while I wait on you hand and big foot, think again young man.'

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

Lady with walking frame on skis.

"I think you hair needs washing"

'I'm not here!'

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

'Watching Chet compete with our great grandson to see who can go longest without having to have his diaper changed. What are you doing?'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'