Family Troublemaker Pillows

"Go … get … your … mother."

Later that day, little Johnny got in big trouble for playing with them.

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

"He said his screen is frozen again."

"We need to have a serious talk."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

"Blackmail has given me a confidence I've never felt before."

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

'If you text for a glass of water one more time, Daddy's going to take away your cell phone.'

'Can we wrap up this argument? I've just thought of another one.'

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

Playpen Jailbreak.

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

'If you think you're going to sit around here while I wait on you hand and big foot, think again young man.'

'Don't make me reach back there and turn off that TV.'

The Very Last Dinosaur

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

'I just got off the phone with your teacher. Next time you tell her you're from a 'broken home' don't forget to mention who broke most of it!'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'