Grandma's Secret Admirer Pillows

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

Goddess

'I'm sorry Peggy, but at this point in time, I just don't feel like getting off the couch.'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"I like coming to Grandma's House Daddy. . . It always smells like chocolate chip cookies!"

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

Future Old People

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

We're sunk. Everyone's supposed to bring their Grandma's best dish to the potluck. Don't panic. Helen's Grandma was from Scotland. Yeah. But the Patakis cook Indian feasts. And the Mercantis still make 10 course Italian dinners. What was your Granny's specialty? Jell-o cube salad. Mmm ... sweet or savory?

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

Grandma wearing novelty T-Shirt: 'How's my Hungging?'

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

'You realize I have to tell grandma about this?'

Osteo-pierogies

"Yes it is amazing you found a card with GOTH on it, Gran, especially with your eyesight."

Death never accounted for Mrs O'Grady's handbag.

Historic Landmarks - Wimbledon, 1863

"I'm only attracted to older women."

"Oh, I'm just between naps, Grandma."

'Granny's got wind again!'

I don't think Grandma likes my snake.

"Dad says you can tell the age of trees by their rings. Does that work for Grandmas?"