Grandma Appreciator Pillows

'Granny's got wind again!'

The Final Selfie

Rock on Grandma!

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Well, put a jumper on if you're cold!'

She's good, but Mom's better.

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

"She used to just be a mom, but when I was born she was promoted to grandma."

'What I like most about my mom is that she always supersizes her hugs.'

"I warned you, Kid! I brought back up!!"

"Think of the campfire like your Grandmother - it deserves respect and constant attention."

'I'm sorry, we did all we could, but she had a severe case of curiosity.'

'I know for a fact my grandma never used propylene glycol monoesters, polysorbates, sorbitan monostearate and di-glycerides.'

"I want to buy you a card that reflects the sacrifices you've made on my behalf, Mom. Where's your purse?"

'I don't resent taking orders from a woman... for 20 years I took them from my mother.'

'Mother knows best, Dear, so stop rolling your eyes.'

Life's Rarest Things

We're sunk. Everyone's supposed to bring their Grandma's best dish to the potluck. Don't panic. Helen's Grandma was from Scotland. Yeah. But the Patakis cook Indian feasts. And the Mercantis still make 10 course Italian dinners. What was your Granny's specialty? Jell-o cube salad. Mmm ... sweet or savory?

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

Grandma wearing novelty T-Shirt: 'How's my Hungging?'

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

"Tireless worker? Well, when I was young, yes, but not anymore I can tell you..."

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

'I may not look like much but f**k with me and you're dead!'

"OK. You're the Ghost of Christmas Present. Quite amusing. Now go away!"

Momco

'Meet my mothers: biological, surrogate, adoptive and step...'

"Yes it is amazing you found a card with GOTH on it, Gran, especially with your eyesight."

World's Greatest Mom...I approve of this message.

"Oh, I'm just between naps, Grandma."

"Like this, Tommy?"

Santa as a baby...