Playful Troublemaker Pillows

..And if you unstick my hands from my nose, I promise I won't touch the super glue in my dad's toolbox ever again.

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Playing pig

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

'How was your day Ma?. . .'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

Children's Self-Help Books. How to Look for a Lost Toy Without Moving a Muscle. It IS Possible to Make a More Annoying Sound! Tying the Impossible Knot. Mom! MOM! Moooooom!

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

'All right, who broketh the window!'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

Whatever

Playpen Jailbreak.

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

Ask Sadie. My wife and I are getting a puppy soon. Any training tips? - Jay and Emily, Charlotte, NC. Sent from my iPad. Oh yes. A tip: Have him poop on your @#$% iPad, you high-tech boobs! Irrelevant and gratuitous. Sent from my lungs. You need the toothbrush app.

'If you think you're going to sit around here while I wait on you hand and big foot, think again young man.'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'