Grammar School Graduate Gifts

"It says '11-plus'. . . I'm 43."

Big Bang Theory.

"Make a lot of money."

No Elgar!

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Good Luck!

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

I need to set upmy own company.

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

Good Luck!