Grammar School Graduate Pillows

"It says '11-plus'. . . I'm 43."

Big Bang Theory.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Make a lot of money."

No Elgar!

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Good Luck!

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

A prince needs to learn arithmetic because some day you may want to divide and conquer.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

I need to set upmy own company.

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

"This is what's known as a book."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'As everyone knows, scientists are at their peaks early in their careers.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'