Grammar Teacher Gifts

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'I'm having my colon checked.'

"My mom is an English teacher and she says Santa's elves are subordinate clauses."

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Will separate coordinate clauses for food.

"Faith, by definition, is belief that is not supported by evidence. It's gullibility dressed up like a virtue - not something to be admired... Also your sign has four grammatical errors and your underwear is showing."

'This is the kind of grade up with which my dad won't put.'

'At a guess I'd say there were Santa's little helpers.'

A Semicolon.

"You have the right to remain silent..."

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"I'm writing an inverted sentence like you told me. That's what I'm doing."

Personnel: 'First of all, there's no 'Y' in resume...'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Evolutionary Verb Tenses. Past. Present. Future Imperfect.

"I realize that most of you think the function of the semi-colon is to make a winking smiley face when texting. . ."

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

Grammar got run over by a reindeer

"Jenkins is on high visibility foot patrol today."

"Can't you ever forget that you're a language teacher?"

Literary critics have a very special sense of humor.

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

"You vill be punished if you end a sentence with a preposition."

"He's in a comma."

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"There's been one change to the menu. We're no longer spelling brussels sprouts with a capital 'B'."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

The Semicolon A Colon in the form of a Semicolon

'It's a part-time position since we'll only be needing you sometimes.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Turkey Dinner and gravity

"He said, and I quote, 'I'm a colon'."

"Mum, which entrance do the clever children use?"