Grammar Gifts

'Yes, a winky face is correct... But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices known as 'complete sentences.''

Annual Pedants Conference.

Writer with punctuation spray.

"There are some words I will not tolerate in this house-and 'awesome' is one of them."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

My Husband Doesn't Have A Clue

"I found a misused apostrophe in one of your entrees."

"I'm sorry, but shouldn't there be an apostrophe in that?"

Got idea. Talk better. Combine words. Make sentences.

Grammarian.

'Are you the new English teacher?' 'Yes I are!'

'They're arguing over whether it should have an apostrophe.'

'Give me two pronouns.'

'I'll never date another apostrophe... the last one was too possessive.'

Woman to co-worker: 'Some people want to abolish apostrophes ? but I'm very possessive about them.'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

Future Tents

'No, Jason, I don't know why the T in 'Tsunami' is silent! Just run!'

'I'm having my colon checked.'

"Just ignore the bad spelling. You'll get us all accused of discriminating against people with learning disabilities."

"You tend to overuse the exclamation point."

You need to learn punctuation. I'ts, important later! 'in life'

Wet paint ahead...mined where you step.

"Ain't no way y'all shuld be here if ya don't speak English real good!"

The Importance of Grammar Demonstrated By Sir Paul McCartney.

'Please, Miss, surely 'trousers' should be singular at the top and plural at the bottom?'

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'You can't believe a word he says since he invented the subjunctive.'

'Is anal retentive hyphenated?'

"Who teaches apostrophe usage?"

Graduate: 'I ain't never gonna forget all that you learned me, Teach!'

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."