Graduation Nostalgia Pillows

'The Graduate' updated.

Eternal Student.

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

Go team!

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

U of Debt

His Master's Thesis.

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Boeing! - In my office, now!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"I've decided to major in engineering...college loan debt restructuring."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

Now Firing.

Naughty schoolboys fight behind teacher's back in old fashioned school.

"My parents taught me stuff until I was six, and then they outsourced me to Central Elementary."

Teacher to other about hot dog vendor: 'Since when have we allowed that dude in the building?'

"I can never remember whether children are to be seen and not heard or the other way around."

"She gave everyone in class a Valentine. It doesn't mean she likes you!"

Student Debt

"I've been able to pay attention a lot more in class since the teacher separated us."

Obedience School. So, are you considering any post-grad work?

Actually, with bachelors degrees in philosophy, we were lucky to get this job.

"Yale law....where did you do your pre-hell?"

Boys at Leisure

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."