Graduation From Dermatology School Gifts

"Ugh. When will this acne go away?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Dancing Doctor

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'What's holding him up?'

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

En garde!

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

"Turn your head and cough."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"