Graduating Therapy School Gifts

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

I need to set upmy own company.

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

Therapist School

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

'This is going to be the best day ever!'

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

"I'm worried that I'm the only one who constantly gets anxiety attacks..."

'It's a deal then-I'll waive my fee if you'll do my son's birthay party..'

'Actually, I became a psychiatrist because the voices told me to.'

The Ideal Teacher.

"They think I don't have a clue."

'Once upon a time...'

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

'I don't suppose any of you wee bams know how spell, 'mutual respect.''

'Mommy has made this astonishing cake just to get you to eat your peas and provide valuable insight for your therapist in twenty years.'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

Art Student

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

'Sorry, kid...that's it.'

'Believe me, Luci, it's hard being a boss! You want to be everyone's friend...but you can't...I wonder what you'll be when you grow up...'

"Your take-home test will be monitored by 27 smart drones."

I'm a minimalist.

My eyelids are growing heavy

'This is a song my therapist told me to sing whenever I get the urge to harm people who won't pay attention to me.'

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"How come they can have a teacher shortage, but we can't have a student shortage?"

Student walking into 'Facts of Life' lunchtime club.