Graduating Rehab Gifts

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

Big Bang Theory.

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"Make a lot of money."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Good Luck!

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Good Luck!

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."