Government Plot Enthusiast Pillows

Conspiracy theorist

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

10 commandments

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

"We need a plot twist."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"Discussing research funding with ministers can be a little fraught..."

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.

'Okay - Who built this site?'

'It's interesting that your great-grandparents came over from Ireland in 1887, but you still don't qualify for foreign aid.'