Government Plot Enthusiast Gifts

Conspiracy theorist

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

10 commandments

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

Turnkey Totalitarianism

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"We need a plot twist."

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

"Discussing research funding with ministers can be a little fraught..."

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

Mid-list Author Magazine

'Okay - Who built this site?'

Nothing to Lose But Our Knees