Government Plot Enthusiasts Gifts

'Subliminal advertising, Alice, what did I tell you!'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

“I’ve got an idea for a story: Gus and Ethel live on Long Island, on the North Shore. He works sixteen hours a day writing fiction. Ethel never goes out, never does anything except fix Gus sandwiches and in the end she becomes a nympho-lesbo-killer-whore. Here’s your sandwich”

"I don't mind car chases as long as they're car chases about something."

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

Real Congressional reform's a must.....

Turnkey Totalitarianism

10 commandments

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

CONGRESS, 'Okay, so you've been censured -- you've got to get right back in there and start legislating before you lose your nerve!'

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"We need a plot twist."

He Didn't Know How To Appreciate Nature

"Afraid we can't help dear, too many other calls on the public purse!"

"It's a novel about loss, and redemption, and fantastic sex."

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

'It's interesting that your great-grandparents came over from Ireland in 1887, but you still don't qualify for foreign aid.'

'Okay - Who built this site?'

Nothing to Lose But Our Knees

"No, I don't mind if you peek,' said the mystery writer to the next victim.