Government Communication Buff Pillows

"Thank you for calling the White House. We’re busy right now, but hang in there..."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

Letter Collecting Nerd

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

'Let us pray...'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

Complaints departement for men and women.

"That's his answer to everything!"

The ways and means committee reaches the tipping point.

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"OK Hunter. Go join the 'non-verbal criticism skills' seminar!"

"I need a more interactive you."

"When you put it like that, it makes complete sense."

Impeachment Wave

"You can't say that to a customer!"

Mice in the Commons

'You know, she's right. It wouldn't kill you to do a little gathering every now and then.'

"Looks like J.B. changed his mind about his open door policy!"

Post Office: Why Not E-Mail It?

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

Our 4 Branches of Government

"I was pretty highly respected until email came along."