Gourmet Techie T-Shirts

Pizza delievery throught the internet

'Combination 3.0 dinner is also available in an upgraded version 3.1.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

To do before Saturday...

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I come here for the pepper."

Too much cilantro

The Main Types of Cheese

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Is this still America?'

Cheese

Holiday Supplies

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'