Gourmet Snacks Gifts

Salsa on a Stick.

Would kill for some hors d'oeuvres right about now.

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

His Her Cakes

The Main Types of Cheese

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

To do before Saturday...

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

French wine

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Too much cilantro

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'