Gourmet Reader T-Shirts

'What would you like to eat with your book tonight?'

Edible food section in the library.

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

The Main Types of Cheese

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

French wine

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

To do before Saturday...

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Too much cilantro