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Authentic Street Food!

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'A cheeky red?'

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'How was the squid?'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

Roadkill Restaurant

"Sauted lard, please."

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

'This makes things very messy. He's claiming he programmed the lunchroom toaster to do muffins.'

"House red, sir?"

"What's the 'Chef's Surprise'? That's his reaction when you actually eat it."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

'My French is not so good.'

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"