Gourmet Legal Enthusiast T-Shirts

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'What'll it be?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Violent Crime Statistics

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Join me for dinner?

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lady Justice.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'