Gourmet Legal Enthusiast T-Shirts

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'What'll it be?'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Violent Crime Statistics

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Lady Justice.

Join me for dinner?

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Haute Chinese

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'