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'Yes, siree, this certainly has a delightful...stench. You may pour!'

'Guess who's ordering the wine.'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

La Table

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Cookbooks

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"