Gourmet Guide Prints

'Yes, siree, this certainly has a delightful...stench. You may pour!'

'Guess who's ordering the wine.'

"You didn't say 'excellent choice' when I ordered! What did I do wrong?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

La Table

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Cookbooks

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'