Gourmet Gone Wild Gifts

'Well that's just great. As if this stuff didn't already suck enough.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Holiday Supplies

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

Platter confusion.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

'How was the squid?'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Decaying corpse