Gourmet Daydreamer T-Shirts

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Holiday Supplies

I wish I'd had the review.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."