Hopeful Gourmet T-Shirts

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

'That's funny... I could have sworn I saw the chef put him on the platter.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

Salvador Deli

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'It's all made by stateless people, wanderers, nomads, whose only anchor is cheese.'

'No, that is not a balanced diet.'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

'Just let it go, kid... You knew this line of work has its risks.'

"You call this pigswill food?"

Guru on a mountain top with a take away menu

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

'He wants to be a T.V chef like that Gordon Ramsay-he knows all the words,bless him!'

"Waiter. This steak tartare is undercooked!"