Gourd Guardian Gifts

'One day we're all spooking and cool...and just like that, we're out on the curb.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

Bumble Bee

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

The new global mantra flag for the future

'So what have you been up to?'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Classic Emojis for sale.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Relax. They're just crows."

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

"This place could use a moat!"

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

Beware of the Lawn

This might take a while

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Are you outta your gourd?!!"

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."