Gourd Guardian Gifts

'One day we're all spooking and cool...and just like that, we're out on the curb.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Bumble Bee

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Biodiversity

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Relax. They're just crows."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'So what have you been up to?'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Classic Emojis for sale.

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"This place could use a moat!"

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Beware of the Lawn

This might take a while

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Are you outta your gourd?!!"

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

Bleak House

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."