Gourd Collector T-Shirts

Happy Halloween from the Gourds

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

true love.

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Classic Emojis for sale.

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Red Wine

S**t Threw a Goose

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

The Houseplant Cemetery.

"Are you outta your gourd?!!"

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

Paul was certain he had the largest pumpkin, until he discovered he was the smallest man.

Traffic Jam

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"I'm not a #@*%! frog! I'm a toad!"

"With company-wide layoffs imminent I realized it was a matter of self-preservation."

Cafe offers corn several ways.

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

Corn Lizard

"This wine is CORKED!"

"I love the way next door never tidy their garden - it's the perfect source of blackberries for our apple crumble."

Wine-tasting Tour.

"Nice chords Wayne!"

'This organic seed's so much better for you than ordinary seed!'