Gothic Tales Gifts

“This particular variety was incredibly full-bodied.”

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

Edgar Allen Poe

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Out To Lurch

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

The lonely figure

'Frankendumpty'

Bram Stoker

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Edgar Allan Poe

Life is ghoul

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

"No monster, when I said 'lend me a hand'..."

Non discrimination to Vampires

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Bleak House

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Pass the SPF 20,000

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

Pie Shoppe and Sweeny Todd's barber shop.

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Edgar Allan Poe

Poems to Spookify

"You've been grinding your fangs."

The Raven - The Study at Night

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'