Gothic Story Fan Gifts

The Frankenstein hog.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Trilby - Finis

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

"I guess I misunderstood when I read you were into 'Bodybuilding'."

'You've got those 'take-me-to-bed' eye sockets!'

Bram Stoker

'You complete me.'

"Relax - he's just here for the romance."

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

Vampire Umbrella

The Pride of Frankenstein

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

Drunk Vampire

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

"You came from Europe, didn't you? I'll bet this is metric."

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

Vampire practical jokes.

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

"What an IDIOT!! He's got the wrong type of 'steak'..! But I'll play along for the moment..."

'It's ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! And smells delicious!'

"You're still in bed?"

"Ooh! Bummer!"

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees