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The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Trilby - Finis

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

The lonely figure

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

The Pride of Frankenstein

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

Pass the SPF 20,000

Poems to Spookify

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

"You lab assistants are all alike, you're only interested in a woman for one thing...her brain!"

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

The Raven - The Study at Night

Trilby - 'I suppose you do all this kind of thing for mere amusement, Mr. Wynne?'

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

The ghost's walk

"What an IDIOT!! He's got the wrong type of 'steak'..! But I'll play along for the moment..."

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'

Trilby - 'Out of the mysterious East'.

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'